When Change Fails, It's Not the System, It's Because Nobody Asked the Women in the Room

My latest podcast conversation had me nodding so hard I almost pulled a muscle.

Kamila Adamatti, a change management consultant with 23 years of experience helping organizations navigate massive transformations, told me about attending a networking event where someone heard her Brazilian accent and immediately assumed she was only there to meet other Latinos.

Three separate times, this person tried to connect her with Latino networking groups. Three times, without ever asking what she does professionally.

Here's a woman who helps director and VP-level executives lead multi-million dollar transformations across the US and Latin America, and this person couldn't see past her accent to recognize the expertise standing right in front of them.

That's what it's like to be a woman in a male-dominated industry constantly having to prove we belong while our contributions get overlooked.

The 70% Failure Rate Nobody Talks About

Here's a statistic that should terrify every executive: 70% of organizational changes fail in the United States, according to McKinsey research.

Why? Because organizations focus on systems and processes while ignoring the people who actually have to make the change happen.

You can invest millions in the most sophisticated technology. But if the people on the ground aren't engaged, aren't heard, and don't feel part of the process, that expensive initiative fails.

Kamila's SPEECH methodology addresses this gap by putting people at the center of change management from strategy through habit formation. (Listen to the full episode to hear how she's used this framework to save organizations millions.)

When Your Ideas Disappear from the Whiteboard

You're in a brainstorming session. Ideas are flying. The facilitator is writing things down.

You share an idea. It doesn't make it to the whiteboard.

You share another insight. Also ignored.

Then a male colleague shares essentially the same idea you mentioned ten minutes ago. Suddenly it's brilliant. It gets written down. People build on it. He gets credited with innovative thinking.

Both Kamila and I have lived this moment countless times in our careers. That's not just frustrating, that's organizations actively losing critical perspectives because unconscious bias determines whose voice matters.

When women experience this enough, we learn to stay quiet. And organizations make major decisions without input from a significant portion of their workforce. (We go deep into how to handle this in the podcast episode including the exact language I use to redirect conversations back to my contributions.)

The Confidence Gap That Costs Everyone

Research shows men apply for jobs when they meet 50% of requirements. Women wait until we check nearly every box.

Think about that for a second: A man with ten qualifications applies and gets hired. A woman with eighteen qualifications doesn't submit her resume because she's missing two items.

This shows up everywhere especially for women in trades and construction who've been conditioned to believe they need perfection to be taken seriously. Organizations pass over more qualified candidates because of this gap.

Kamila experienced this throughout her chemical engineering career being told not to wear red nail polish, learning to communicate more "aggressively" to be taken seriously, then being criticized for being too aggressive.

When a man is direct and decisive, we call him assertive. When a woman demonstrates the same qualities, we call her aggressive.

That double standard doesn't just affect individual women. It affects every change initiative and decision being made. (In the full podcast, Kamila shares exactly how she coaches male executives to recognize and interrupt these patterns.)

Why Validation Starts With You

The Brag Bag Strategy: Stop Waiting for Validation

For years, I walked around saying "Nobody has my back." Then a colleague hung a sign in my office that changed everything:

"Every successful woman is herself."

That was my lightbulb moment. I needed to have my own back first.

The Brag Bag™ is simple: systematically track your wins, contributions, and measurable results as they happen.

• Landed that major account? In the bag.

• Team exceeded targets by 10%? In the bag.

• Solved that problem everyone gave up on? In the bag.

When you have concrete evidence of your value, you stop looking for external validation. You show up to meetings differently. You ask for what you deserve with confidence because you have the receipts.

And organizations benefit too a woman who is clear on her value becomes easier to retain, easier to promote, and far more confident in executing change.

(Want to know the exact system I use? Listen to the full podcast episode where I walk through the Brag Bag™ framework step-by-step.)

What Self-Allyship Looks Like in Action

When Kamila was at that networking event and the guy tried for the third time to connect her with Latino groups without asking what she does, she didn't smile and let it slide.

She said clearly and professionally: "I'm here as a professional to network about change management. I help leaders from medium to large organizations navigate transformation. My persona is executives and directors, regardless of where they're from. I'm here for business."

That's self-allyship. Not waiting for someone else to correct the bias. Not making yourself smaller to make him comfortable. Stating your value clearly.

This is what I teach through my TRUTH Method framework:

• Trust yourself and your expertise

• Reclaim your voice when it gets silenced

• Understand your worth independent of validation

• Take up space unapologetically

• Hold your ground when challenged

(Kamila and I share more real-life examples of self-allyship in action in the full episode, including how I handle being ignored in meetings and the exact phrases that redirect conversations.)

What Leaders Can Do Right Now

If you're leading change initiatives and want them to actually succeed:

Have real one-on-ones. Not performance reviews. Actual conversations where you listen.

Pay attention to whose ideas make it to the whiteboard. If certain voices get overlooked, interrupt that pattern in the moment.

Create feedback loops that work. Engagement isn't announcing change and asking for questions. It's actively soliciting input and showing people their feedback made a difference.

Call out bias when you see it. When someone makes assumptions based on gender, accent, or appearance, say something.

Make retention as important as recruitment. It's great to hire women. It's better to create environments where they want to stay.

(Kamila walks through her complete SPEECH methodology in our conversation—including the calibration and habit-building phases that make change actually stick. Listen to the full episode for the framework.)

The Conversation Continues

Change is uncomfortable. But it's also necessary.

We can't keep ignoring women's voices and wondering why initiatives fail. We can't keep putting people in boxes based on superficial characteristics and expect innovation.

The organizations that will thrive are the ones that truly engage all their people. That create environments where women don't have to twist themselves into pretzels to be heard.

And the women who will lead us there are the ones who trust their expertise, build their Brag Bags, and refuse to shrink.

We're showing up fully, speaking from our roots, and claiming the seats we've earned.

Because the world needs what we bring to the table. And we've earned our seats there.

Listen to the Full Episode

This blog post only scratches the surface of my conversation with Kamila Adamatti. In the complete podcast episode, we go deeper into:

• The complete SPEECH methodology and how to apply it (even to your personal life)

• Specific language for redirecting conversations when your ideas get ignored

• How to handle being the "only" in male-dominated spaces

• Why women need to support each other instead of competing

• Real stories from both our careers navigating trades, construction, and corporate environments

• The one question leaders should ask in every one-on-one

Listen to the full Rooted in Your Confidence episode with Kamila Adamatti here

Connect with Kamila Adamatti

Kamila is an international speaker, change management consultant, and host of the Shift Happens podcast. With 23 years of experience guiding organizations through complex transformations, she brings her proprietary SPEECH methodology to help leaders navigate change with strategy and humanity. Her work spans the US and Latin America, and her team operates in English, Spanish, and Portuguese.

Find Kamila on LinkedIn or listen to Shift Happens wherever you get your podcasts.

Ready to Build Your Confidence?

Take the Brag Bag™ Confidence Assessment to discover where you stand and what specific steps will help you show up with more confidence in your male-dominated industry.

Subscribe to Rooted in Your Confidence for more honest conversations with women changing the face of industries like trades, construction, aviation, and transportation.

Because we don't shrink over here. We speak from our roots.